I won't lie.

This is a very strange and distinct kind of feeling. 

It's the feeling that a part of me exists outside the boundaries of my own skin, 

of my own brain, 

of my own heart. 

It's the price to pay when you do what you need to do, 

but you don't get what you wanted to.

And these thoughts get another dimension.

And these emotions get a life of their own.

And these feelings morph into something truly new.

But what I'm truly scared to do is explaining 

every silver lining, 

every fear, 

every heart broken moment that made me do them. 

To me.